I have found a lot of comfort in spending time by myself. I get simple pleasure out of learning new information. It keeps me sharp and clear in thought. It can be overwhelming to intake as much information as I can, but once I feel things click, it is worth it. School accounts for about half of my learning input. Aside from the pharmacokinetics, therapeutics, pharmacology, and toxicology, I have been staring at charts until they are engraved in my mind. I have been listening to books on tape as I drive to school. I have been reading the paper and trying to keep up on current events. I am looking ahead, trying to fit as much as possible into my life. Everything is a tight squeeze, and I refuse to compromise. We are required to do rotations for school this summer. Most kids are bummed about working and not getting paid, but I am trying to use the situation as a reason to try out a new place. I may try to live on my boat in the Ozarks while working at Ozark Regional Hospital, or I may try to stop in for a couple weeks on San Juan Island County Hospital on my way through. Either way, I look forward to it instead of dreading it. I have a lot to look forward to, but more importantly, a lot to enjoy right now.

I started building this in my garage. Some glue is setting as I type. I was told that it would be more work than it was worth, but I think otherwise. This could be the start of a new hobby, or the beginning of something big, or another idea that fades away over time. Either way, this boat is going places that I haven't thought up yet, which is what I like about these sorts of ideas. I built it to tow behind my sailboat, so that I can get to and from shore, or as a lifeboat if the ship goes down. Buying one would be expensive, and probably more safe. Neither of which I am interested in.

On another note, school has started and already feels like a grind. It is a regular routine, so I naturally have issues against it, but it also feels good to keep learning. I was excited for cold weather, but the season has came and gone. The snow and ice just melts, leaving ugly traces of salt and road grime. The lake is frozen, but rough and not thick enough to skate on. I've been airing out some sails, taking down the mast, and trying to figure out if the sailboat will fit in the garage. I would like to go back to sleeping on it, even if it still rests uncomfortably on dry land. This weekend, I am going to Columbia. There are a couple parties, but more importantly, friends that I would like to see. Most exams fall on Mondays this semester, so my weekends from now on will have to stay somewhat in control.

So this is what i can remember about 2009

2009

It is January 5, 2010 as I write this, and I have been planning on writing a recollection of 2009 for the past month or so. I have decided that I need to write some more things down, because as I think about 2009, even now I can’t remember everything that happened. This isn’t because my memory is poor, but because so much happened. I will have to look back at photos and blogs to try to remember all of the big things that happened. I just finished browsing my last years “recollection of 2008”, and it seemed like more than a year, or even a decade worth of memories. In 2009 I would guess that things would have to slow down, but they definitely did not. I find myself making bigger and bigger plans, and living further and further away from the norm. So here goes 2009, from what I can remember at least. To flash back a little further than January 1^st, 2009, it is important to remember that I made it home safely with my sailboat, which I purchased in Maryland. It is a 24 foot 1979 Helms sloop fixed keel. When I think back upon this last year, I will think of the many memories which it has given me. The name “Tres Sea” was written on her stern, and after thought of new names, I decided to leave it be. The first of the year consisted of taking the mast off and cleaning up the boat and the running rigging. It didn’t take nearly as much time as I had thought it would, and was a lot of fun learning how everything would work (once in the water). I celebrated new years at a girl named Miranda Hobbes house, which wasn’t very exciting for me. Aside from working on the boat, 2^nd semester of my 2^nd year of pharmacy school started mid January, which consumed a lot of my time. I can’t recall off the top of my head what school was like, but looking back at a calendar, I can now recall Biochem being the most difficult class, and I also took medchem, pharmaceutics, physiology, and professional skills. I know that that doesn’t seem very entertaining to write down, but maybe many years from now it will spark a nice memory or my “collegiate” years. I will try to skip over the parties and routine things that occupied my time, and move forward to March, where I went to Maui, Hawaii, for my sisters wedding. Such a big deal, my only sibling getting married, and I am so happy and proud. Maui was a great place to visit, and I got to bring my friend Austin along as the wedding photographer. The highlights included the wedding on the beach, family and friends, the Road To Hana, watching windsurfers, making it to the top of the tallest mountain, which had frost on the ground due to the height, despite the otherwise tropical climate at sea level, we went on a large catamaran and watched whales, and trolled the beaches for babes. Luckily my boi Austin had a nice new camera, and captured a lot of the beauty of the trip. The wedding was over my spring break, so I was back to school and on to other plans when I got home. I am trying to read over some things that I had written down during that time period in my life, and I had some serious plans brewing. Some of which would work out, some which simply weren’t feasible yet, and some which are still on my mind right now. Around April, I started imagining the summer in my head. There are far too many things to do than there is time to do them, so I had to start prioritizing. Austin was set on hitch hiking across the U.S., which sounded like a grand idea to me. When the plan started to fall through due to money, girlfriends, time, or lack of desire, and other trips, I started developing a plan to go to Europe again for a while. At this point in time Austin had been living with my sister, at 2^nd tier, which is just up the street a short walk. I halfway stayed there sometimes, and spent a few nights in my boat in the garage as well. Despite Austin living halfway with me, we probably hung out less. Reasoning is hard to say, different schedules mostly. He was busy visiting a girl from out of state a few times, communicating with her via internet, and trying to earn a buck, and I was being more and more busy with school, riding my bike alone quite a bit, and planning things and making lists. Aside from school, which takes up a large chunk of time, which will probably be a recurring statement next year, during this time (Aprilish) I began riding my bike a lot. I rode to and from school about once a week maybe, and tried taking the bus a few times as well. I began to get pretty good endurance, and festured a plan in the back of my head to ride to Denver, which has yet to happen due to lack of participants, or maybe just a bad idea. The boat also became fit for water, and I found an engine for easier maneuvering in moorage or harbors. During this time I was also beginning a rough plan for a European trip. I had gone two years prior, and knew I needed atleast a month, and found it hard to fit into my schedule of events for the summer. School was out early May, and I left the morning after my last final to go to Florida with my friend Tyler and some of his fam so he could check out a marine-tech school in Orlando. We made a nice vacation out of it and re-visited a place called St George’s Island which I had already made found memories there. We slept on the beach under the stars, and hiked our way out to the end of the island where a year or more before, my friends Trevor, Austin, and some newly made friends had camped. It is a picture perfect spot and one that I will surely return to again and again…but hopefully not during bug season like this time. We visited Orlando and Tyler’s future school (which he is leaving to attend a week from right now), drove up the east coast of florida, making a stop in Daytona Beach, spending dinner on my friends Pat and Pat’s boat that they live on, and staying in a state park in north/central Florida on a river, in a cabin, with access only by boat. The park was another amazing treasure that I plan on returning to again and again, with different faces and new memories. I have now written just as much as last year, but am still at the beginning of May…so I will have to summarize better, because I am not trying to write a book...but this is a big highlight. When I returned from Florida, I left a couple days later for Europe. My friend Jon flew the same day and met me in London. We had planned a few details, but nothing beyond the first few days. We packed folding bicycles as our luggage, so that they would be free to bring with us, and able to be packed again for other flights to come. After scattering our boxes and putting our bikes together at the airport, we started our ride into the city. I stashed an old suitcase by the freeway in some bushes in hopes that it might be useful on my way home, to save me from scrounging up cardboard to make another makeshift box for the bicycle to fit. To make things short, I may write another summary of this trip in more detail later, because it could be a book in itself. In short, I lived on the rough side, slept in parks, airports, a police station, on the side of the road, farmers fields, on the beach, and at some friends a couple times. I ate very little, dumpster dove, ate leftover food from people, and just wung it. It was rough, it was hard, it was a challenge, and I loved it. I made some long stretches of cycling. I had one backpack to live out of. From London, rode south to Brighton, then north to Manchester with my friend Aaron who was studying in Manchester. London to Manchester was about 250 miles when all set and done. We made it in 48 hours, or three days… something like that. From there I departed from Liverpool by plane and landed near Amsterdam. I rode around Amsterdam and some neighboring cities, then rode via the autobahn with a foreign exchange student who had been in Kansas City back to his home town of Dusseldorf. I think we hit 200mph on the autobahn, but I was unsure because it was in kilometers. I stayed with him in Dusseldorf, visited Koln, flew out of an old military base in a small town with one runway named Weeze, and landed in Ciampino, just south of Rome. Each time flying, I had to find some cardboard, cut it to the exact dimensions that would allow the bike to fit, without going over on the airline regulations for baggage size, take the bike apart, and get it to close up. From Ciampino I began my long trip north. I had initially included Rome, because I had a friend named Margherita who had lived in Aquila, which was just 60 miles east of Rome in central Italy. The town had a catastrophic earthquake many months before, and the entire town was evacuated and closed down. The pictures looked like an atomic bomb had hit. Since no unauthorized vehicles were allowed, and Margherita was going to be able to revisit the town, I wanted to ride my bike there and see it all, and see her, who I had met my last trip in Europe. It didn’t work out, so instead I rode north to Lago di Bracciano, which turned out to be better than I could have ever imagined. I slept on the beach of the lake for a few days, befriended some local fishermen, got some free food behind the local supermarket, and enjoyed the sunsets and sunrise every day. If I knew there wasn’t more to see in the world, I would have been content just staying, right there in my spot on the beach. I had plans to catch a boat across the Mediterranean to Barcelona, so I made my way through the wine country of Italy through some mountains toward the coast. I rarely had any sort of map on the trip, so I was lost nearly 90% of the time, but knew where to keep the sun in the morning, and where it should set at night, and somehow I found my way rather efficiently I guess. When I made it over the mountains, I had a long downhill ride until land turned in to water. I continued north, along the coast, past Civitavechia where I would later catch a boat. I continued all the way to Pisa, where my legs and my bike were slowing down more and more. It was hot, but I was pleased to make it another ~250 mile stretch by bike. Pisa was nice, as was Florence. At this point, I had to head back south to catch the boat to Barcelona. Fortunately, I ran into some friends I knew from America who were on a study abroad type trip. They convinced me to stay in Pisa with them for a day/night, and promised me a much needed shower, and allowed me to sneak onto their tiny balcony of their hotel to sleep for the night. Because I was set back by their hospitality, and since my legs were worn out, I took a train back to Civitavecchia and caught the first one out. The boat was like a mini-cruise, and I was able to sleep indoors for a change, without my knife in my hand. It was an overnight ride, and I didn’t pay for a bed, but had a comfortable chair to sleep in. I was really excited about the nice boat, as well as the really nice family I met who I enjoyed talking with and hanging out with. There was a dance night on the boat, the family fed me sandwhiches, I stole a loaf of bread off of a fancy dining display, I saw the island of Corsica briefly, and I made it to Barcelona! It was only 40 euro for the boat ride, and it gave me a nice place to sleep, clean up, and have some fun without having to worry about my bike and baggage for a bit. Almost done. Barcelona was a great place, I met up with Taylor there, I had hoarded some euros that I finally spent. I ate good. Hitched to Montserrat, which is a religious/spiritual place high in the mountains. Hitched back to Barcelona with a girl who couldn’t speak English, and I couldn’t speak Cantalun sp?, but managed and enjoyed trying to communicate with her. For the first time, I couldn’t find cardboard for my bike, and had lost my tape somewhere on the road. I finally found some rough cardboard that had been rained on, pieced the pieces together, used a little masking tape that I found, as well as some stickers, twine, and a busted bicycle tube to hold it roughly together. I slept in the airport, left for London the next day, stayed in London’s airport for a day and a night, repaired the box which had a large hole in it and was having a rough time staying together, and made it home! Finally home, I left after a few days for Dodge City, Kansas where I have helped during harvest season the past few years. I drive the combine mostly, long days. I also stayed a little longer to paint a chicken coop, bust up some concrete where old silos once stood, and do some odds and ends farm jobs to make some money. I heard that Michael Jackson died over the radio in the tractor. Lucky for me they played his music nonstop while I was cutting wheat. When I got home, I had lined it up to tow a boat to my cousin in Virginia. He was paying, and I couldn’t turn down another opportunity for a trip. I had a couple states in that area that I still needed to mark off my list. After a pretty epic 4^th of July party I threw at my place, I left. I took the boat to him, then stayed another week or more in the carolinas, down to Savannah, Georgia. I liked Savannah a lot, and stayed with a really nice couchsurfing host. I learned of a free Sonic Youth concert in St Louis, which was on my way home, so I drove through the night to make it there. I met with my friend Dylan, who came from KC to the show, and had organized another couchsurfing host that I could join in on. While watching the concert, which was by the arch, in front of the river, I told Dylan of my plan to kayak the Missouri River once we got home. He agreed, although we didn’t know what to expect, or if our goal should be KC to Columbia, to St Louis, or just to make it alive. The next day in St Louis, a lot of friends were in town for my friend Trevor’s bachelor party at the City Museum in St Louis…which is one of the coolest things to do in Missouri. We made it home in time for Lotawana Day, and despite being gone most of the summer, they still managed to plug me in to quite a few acts for the ski show. Lotawana Day was a blast as usual, and the following morning Dylan and I were to set off down the Missouri River by kayak. It was long, tiring, boring, and slow. Our arms got tired, and the current didn’t take us nearly as fast as we thought it would. We slept on a parked barge one night, and then slept in our boats, alternating, as one person navigated and the other napped. We had to stop for a bit during lightning at night. At one point, we both fell asleep while drifting but awoke quickly by an approaching channel marker which could have flipped our boats fairly easily. By the end, we made it to the casino by the river and had a friend who lived in Columbia pick us up, and we stashed our boats for the night. The next day, Austin came with a truck to pick us and our boats up and take us back to KC. I am really glad I got to see the river, and use it as it once was used. We returned to Lake Lotawana in time for my friend Trevor’s wedding at the lake. This is too long and I apologize to myself, or if anyone else would ever read this! After the wedding I finally put my sailboat in the water. I stayed on it for the first 3-4 days or so with my friends Aaron and Jeremy. I realized at that point that I didn’t want to live anywhere else. We left the sailboat moored and travelled by car north to Minneapolis. Minnesota was the last state in that area that I hadn’t visited, and Aaron and Jeremy knew a guy there. While north, we also visited Fargo, which was the most interesting place for me. We couchsurfed with a good person there, and took in the eerie feeling of the town. We stopped in Omaha on our way back south to visit our friend Allie, and then home at last, but this time, home was back on the boat. I decided to live on it for as long as I could, and I am so glad that I did. Around this time period I also hosted some German couchsurfers who loved the lake and had a really good time entertaining them and being entertained by them. I also got really into bicycle polo around this time, and still play it quite often now. Also somewhere in there, we got a little wild and had some dance parties on the pontoon boats. I hooked up a generator to power Austin's DJ equipment and we had a blast. This happened two times I believe. The rest of the summer was spent sailing on Lake Jacomo, and enjoying the quiet life on the boat. I felt really comfortable, and less out of place than ever before. Big plans started to develop in my head. Summer came to a close, and I took one last weekend trip to Horseshoe Canyone in Arkansas for some rock climbing. Austin was filming for a kid named Dylan Welter (not the same Dylan as previously mentioned) and I came along to climb some things and enjoy the great outdoors. I shaved my head, the school year started, I continued to live on the boat as much as possible, and play bicycle polo, sail, and study a little. My dog died this year, which I wrote about already. To wrap things up, this last semester of school was difficult. I stayed on the boat until right before Thanksgiving when they make us take them out, I threw an epic Halloween party, visited New Orleans, so I have now visited every state but Alaska over the past two years, I turned 24 years old, visited Chicago, met a girl named Kasia who I could write another summary on, visited Indianapolis, and made a lot of plans for this coming year. I have been working a lot on my sailboat trip to the northwest this summer. I have plans to build a small dinghy to tow behind my sailboat. I have been reading charts and deciding on the equipment that I will need. There are a lot of plans in the works, but that will be included in next years recollection. After this year, I have realized that we were built for so much more, yet live so softly.

between now and then

There always seems to be a lot of time between posts, and I am not patient enough to give much detail. My last post was the start of an intense few weeks of school. Its over now and I faired pretty well. New Orleans was a big highlight, as was the Halloween party. I was looking forward to some extra free time once school slowed down, but I am surprised that I have actually been bored on occasion. I gave myself a 4 day weekend by skipping school on Thursday and Friday. I felt happy that I got to spend more time sailing and back to sleeping on it. I am sad that I will have to pull the boat out of the water in a couple weeks and it will have to sit in my driveway. The boat is out of place in my driveway, and i feel out of place here. A plus side to the changing seasons is hockey. I saw the new KC hockey team, the Mavericks, play at the brand new Independence Events Center. I enjoyed the game and am excited to play this year. I also am working on a project to build an iceboat. Most of my free time has been dedicated to planning a sailing trip in the pacific northwest. I have been studying charts, and planning the equipment necessary to make it happen.

iPanchos!

I have been sitting at Panchos for the last hour and a half, eating and organizing my to do lists. I am a big fan of lists, but they are usually too long or not realistic. The list I made just now is for the month of October. I have a lot of things to do, and not very much time to do it. I already know that this month will fly by, which I am not very happy about. Most of the things on my list are school projects and assignments that have to get done. It bleeds into November for a few days, but next month will be pretty empty compared to now. A few more interesting things going on in October include a big Halloween party, which I plan on being quite an event. Next week, I am leaving for New Orleans for a community pharmacy convention....but it is more like a nice vacation with some of my fellow classmates.

Interuption: Police just swarmed Panchos and have handcuffed two employees for alleged illegal immigration. I got a pic so maybe I will post it later. Looks like they are closed for business so I better get going. Bike polo tonight!

a pain that i enjoy

So what's new lately? I've found a routine that i enjoy. And though not completely satisfied with my living conditions, I could not imagine a better place to live while being in pharmacy school at UMKC. That seems like a stretch to make the best, and in some ways it is. The pain that I enjoy includes the pain of still living far away from the city. I haven't lived "near" where I play/work/school/have friends for most of my life. The drive takes its toll on me, by depriving me of an extra hour of sleep, the stress that comes from being in traffic, the uneasiness that my own polluting gives me, or the distance (both literal and figurative) between my friends and I. The city is definitely where the action is, but I have still chosen to stay away. Instead I made my home far from people, in the most isolated, but habitable place that I know to exist. It seems that I have adopted two lifestyles; one in which I drive far away, walk an empty dock, row out from land, and get to my spot where no one could hear a scream and the stars are brighter than ever. The other life includes coming to school, talking with classmates, playing bike polo at night, going to parties, seeing shows, plugging in to outlets to charge my electronics, using the internet, eating out, and all kinds of other modern and normal activities. I don't know if I could do one without the other, but at different times I feel certain that I could. A part of me wants to move into the city, gain touch with friends, get an iphone, ride my bike everywhere, hangout late, wake up 20 minutes before class, and have all the modern conveniences in close reach. The other part wants to set sail, and leave everything I dont need on shore. I could be self-sufficient, leaving no carbon footprint behind, not relying on others for company or comfort, and not give anything to society nor take anything away. I am doing neither and staying in between the two options for now, which is sometimes a difficult task.

The night before last was possibly the worst night on the boat thus far. I have had light rains, and had to row out very late at night, and been kept up slightly by cold nights or not the most comfortable bed....but there was quite a wind storm the other night that kept me up due to worrying about my anchor line breaking, being rocked constantly back and forth, and the loud sounds from the waves breaking, the clanking of the halyards slapping the mast, or the wind whipping around my boat making sounds like when you blow in a bottle. That is part of the experience though, and from it I now know atleast how much wind it can take, and that I won't get seasick if I am rocked similarly again, which I will.

I was initially going to make a post about being somewhat lonely, but it is not such a depressing thing, and it is something that I take comfort in. I would be a lot more likely to go with the "set sail" option if I had someone to go it with me though. And as I sit here waiting for class to start, with cords across my lap and earphones in my ears, looking out the window at brick buildings, or the metered street with cars packed tightly, after making sure to check my email and facebook....I wanna go home!

This morning I had to put my dog, Tucker, to sleep. He got ran over last night, and could not walk. I stayed with him through the night, and this morning the doctor said there was nothing that could be done and it would only get worse. 13 years is a long time for a beagle to live, and he had a pretty sweet life protecting the yard from squirrels, boats, and cars. It had to happen sometime. It is the first time in quite a while that I have really cried, which is kind of a relief to know that I am not numb to that kind of emotion. I will probably have another dog one day, and I will probably outlive it as I did Tucker. That's the way it goes, and there are lessons to be learned by it. I loved him.