Its wedding season and im not impressed

Ive done pretty well making posts...but this may be my last for a little while.  My sister's wedding reception is this evening, and I am leaving for europe tomorrow morning.  As much as I enjoy not saying anything, and simply packing up and leaving...this is somewhat of a goodbye post.  I tried to find a good word to describe the way I have been feeling lately, but I have yet to find the one.  The most basic way I could put it, is that I don't feel like I belong here.  Everytime I leave I come home to a less familiar place.  I know the feeling of coming home to the familiar sights, smells, culture, and people...but despite all of these familiar things...somewhat always seems quite different.  I think what really changes is myself.  

I hate to write such a pessimistic post, but this outlet is rarely read and not much time goes into it.  Scratch that...I will avoid that. Instead, let me say how excited I am to really start my summer.  It has been over two weeks since school ended, and all that has really happened was Florida, some bike riding, and packing.  It has been fairly relaxed, I have gone out, Ive stayed up late and slept in.  Preparing for my sisters wedding reception has been a task, but the party tonight should be fun....even though I have one thing on my mind (leaving).  I am really not in the mood to be around a lot of people...all asking the same questions about how school is going, how long I have left, what I will be up to this summer.  I feel like I should just make a card. When they approach to ask me all of the usual questions, I will just hand them a card which can be a synopsis of my life and future. The card would read: I am in pharmacy school at UMKC, it is a 5 year program, I have 3 years left before I am finished; 2 years of classes, and then the last year is rotations.  This semester went pretty good, its kind of hard but not that bad.  I still live at the lake and commute there....yeah it takes a while.  What am I going to be doing this summer? Well, tomorrow I am leaving for europe.  Where? All over.  Ill be there for 4 weeks.  Then, I am coming home for wheat harvest, to drive a combine out in Dodge City, KS. Ill be home for the 4th of July, maybe I will see you out on the lake.  I am leaving July 6th on a bicycle trip to Denver. Yeah it is far, yeah im estimating that the mountains will be hard. It should take 9 days, give or take 10.  No, I havent gotten a chance to put my sailboat in the water.  No it won't fit on Lake Lotawana.  I want to take it to Stockton, and then either to Florida and the Bahamas, or the Great Lakes...I will have to see how well it works out on Stockton.  The End

Is that what they really want to hear? For some reason I feel like that kind of synopsis just goes over peoples heads.  They ask all the questions, and act legitimately interested... but I feel like I am just giving monkeys bananas.  Ah well... I dont intend on loosing touch with reality.  That is just the way things are.  A standard routine of meet and greet.  

I started this post with the title "its wedding season and im not impressed".  That isn't really what this post turned out to be...but I am always a little scatter brained like that. I thought I was going to write more about all of the people I have been around lately.  I am glad to see my sister found a great guy and all, and they will surely be very happy together, like all of the other couples getting married this summer...but it is just not me.  The gift registry, intricate planning, competitiveness, houses, dishware, napkins, preachers for Gods blessing, or for the unreligious still to apease their families or for tradition.  I would rather not be involved...and I am satisfied that I was able to minimally participate in much of the planning and events.  To me, weddings are a symbol for a normal life together.  The traditions involved, and the points in the bride and grooms life, all lead to a lifestyle not suited for me.  Maybe I am just young still...or maybe I am just different than 99% of the people around me, but I do not work towards a normal lifestyle.  I do not want to shop for a house in a suburban grid with a big back yard, 3 br, 2 1/2 bath, with an interest rate I can afford as long as I keep pluggin away at my job I dont want, and my wife pitches in, just to live. To live for what? If you aren't living to do something with your life then you are dead to me. And when others think of "do something with your life" I don't mean get a degree and a job and make lots of money.  I mean DO SOMETHING, because as of right now I am not impressed.  Apologies for how difficult to follow this one was, Ive got too much on my mind to write in one direction.  If I don't update in the next month or longer...it means that internet was a pain to get in europe, or I successfully fell off of the face of the earth. Either way, I am happy.

Back from Florida, need sleep, ready to leave

Returned from Florida yesterday evening.  It was an overnight drive. I met up with a friend in Jacksonville who has been living on a boat for the last few years.  He gave me the rundown and thinks I am on the right track.  He is old but has not compromised his life.  He used to do things that I am doing, and gives me ideas.  He and his wife made chili.  Florida was a decent little trip....the highlight would probably be a cabin that we stayed at northeast of Orlando.  The cabin was on an island on the St Johns River.  We took a ferry (pontoon boat) out to the island, where we were left to ourselves.  The only other person staying the night on the island was a volunteer ranger that we never saw.  It would have been a good setting for a horror film.  It was very tropical-jungle-like, and we were surrounded by alligator infested waters.  The rain felt good.  I ran across a few armadillos and alligators.  I would go back.  I have two more days to get everything together for europe.  We packaged up our bicycles today and I unpacked things from Florida to wash and repack for europe.  Last night a group of us camped out at Blue and Gray Park.  We cooked hotdogs, smores, made rotell dip, played music on the guitar, and slept in tents.  I was ready for a good night of sleep after driving through the night to make it home from Florida, but I couldnt turn down a good fire with good friends.  Tonight I am sleeping in my own bed.  Comfortable beds are nice, but very unnecessary.  People do not realize how little they need to survive.  Gandhi once said "The world supplies enough to meet everyone's needs, but not everyone's greed." This makes me want to live more minimal.  Hopefully I will update once more before I leave, but I have a lot to do before leaving and for my sisters wedding reception. 

Quickie

Im in Florida right now. Returned to St Georges Island for some camping, nostalgia, and a long walk in the sand last night.  I wouldnt expect it to be as good as the first time.  It never is.  I have a really bad sunburn. Im looking forward to my sisters wedding reception, the wedding stuff being over, and leaving this country. 

2nd try

So i wrote out a decent post, but got sidetracked and somehow it got deleted.  Here is an update of my life: First off, school is now over.  The last week or so really drained me of energy as I was having all nighters quite frequently.  I think I made it 42 hours with no sleep in the last days.  From my last post I was expressing my excitement about kayaking the Missouri River.  That did not happen because I could not find anyone to go with me due to school, work, girlfriends, or lack of interest.  I was slightly bummed but I have had a lot to get done before I leave for Florida, then europe, then wheat harvest, then Denver...etc etc.  Lately my time has been consumed by preparing for my europe trip.  I am leaving on May 24th, the morning after my sister's wedding reception.  I have been busy packing up bicycles for my friend John and I, which is quite a puzzle with the more restrictive airline luggage restrictions.  They are pretty much done now, and I have a list of many minor things to get done before I leave.  One big thing is deciding on what route I expect to take through europe.  What is for sure is that I will be flying in to London where I will meet my friend Aaron, and we will all ride across the uk 230+ miles to Manchester.  I am trying to figure out a way to attend the Coopers Hill Cheese Rolling festival which will be just west of London beginning the day that we arrive.  From Manchester however...I have no definite plans.  I would like to visit Amsterdam again for the bicycling, Dusseldorf to visit a foreign exchange student who can provide us with a place to stay, L'Aquila and Pescara Italy where I will visit my friend Margherita whom I met the last time I was travelling europe, and Barcelona.  I am not certain the best way to go about it.  I am sure there will be flying, biking, hitching, and train involved....but I have yet to nail that down.  Aside from europe, I am leaving in a few days to go to Florida with Tyler.  I will only have two days when I return to get ready for my sisters wedding reception and departing for europe, so I really need to finish everything up before I leave for Florida.  I am somewhat excited for Florida...but I almost feel tired of exploring the united states when there are so many other countries out there.  Sailing will see a different side of things I suppose.  I ran into a deal today for Australia.  Evidently, they are doing a special plane ticket price of $500 to fly from here to Australia round trip during my winter break.  Enough about travelling though.  It has been lovely weather here and I have enjoyed going out on the boat a few times, fishing, and hitting golf balls out here at my house.  I might go to Columbia tonight since a couple of my friends are going to a show there.  I will probably skip the show and meet up with some friends that I do not see very often.  It is too nice of weather to be inside updating a blog however....so that is all for now.